Contentment

God has been stirring things up in my heart lately, revealing holes and soft spots in my faith and belief that he is good and truly worthy of my most supreme affection above all others in this life. He really is worthy of my greatest love and devotion, even above some of his most precious and good gifts to me. Sometimes I can make a good gift that God gives me into an idol; and though I might not say it quite so bluntly, I become consumed and obsessed with that gift, requiring it for my happiness and joy and contentment.

For example, my family and friends around me. How much of my contentment hinges on them? When I can visit "home" next, or how much time I can spend with them, or how we'll spend a holiday, or how many hours away I live from them, or how often my children see them. These are not sinful concerns and desires; but if I let them, they subtly eat away at my contentment, tricking me into thinking life will be really great if I could just live a few hours closer to my mom or Chris' parents or a brother or sister. Wouldn't it be amazing if my boys could grow up near their cousins? (Is that too much to ask?) Wouldn't it be perfect if we could easily all be together for Christmas? How wonderful would it be if my boys could see their grandparents every week?

I'm thinking all these thoughts and asking all of these questions, because, once again, our not-too-distant future is unknown to us. Chris is graduating in May - an event which represents years full of goodness and graciousness from God to us. So, with the end of this chapter in our lives, we're anticipating starting a new chapter; and Chris is searching for a job, which quite possibly will move us to yet another new city, state, home. Where will it be? Will it be further from everybody? How often will we see our families? How easy will it be to visit? Sometimes my initial reaction to possibly living much farther away from people that are most important to me is pretty near-sighted and down-right void of the reality of Christ in my life - the reality that HE is the only true source of contentment and joy in life.

God is being kind and patient with me. He's been using his Word in my life daily to put my thoughts into a Jesus-centered, Jesus-consuming perspective. This is a gift from him, for there have been months in the last few years where I wouldn't crack open a Bible all week. If I admitted it, I never read God's Word, hardly prayed and so was aimlessly trying to teach my children to love God with all of their hearts, souls and minds. It's humbling to admit that, but I have a feeling that I'm not the only one with that confession.

He's also using two books written by gifted believers to challenge and change my way of thinking, bolstering my contentment in and love for Jesus:

• The Prodigal God by Tim Keller
• Contentment: A Godly Woman's Adornment by Lydia Brownback

I cannot recommend these books enough. I am having a hard time summarizing how they have been helpful to me, so I think I'll post some excerpts in a separate post (soon). Here's a short excerpt from Contentment that well-represents what God is teaching me.

Contentment does not lie around the next corner. It is not waiting for us on the next side of today's difficulty, nor is it lost with yesterday. Contentment is where God is, and God is with us today.

E.B. White is Good

Wilber had already decided how he would carry the egg sac - there was only
one way possible. He carefully took the little bundle in his mouth and
held it there on top of his tongue. He remembered what Charlotte had
told him - that the sac was waterproof and strong. It felt funny on
his tongue and made him drool a bit. And of course he couldn't say
anything. But as he was being shoved into the crate, he looked up at
Charlotte and gave her a wink. She knew he was saying good-bye in the
only way he could. And she knew her children were
safe.

"Good-bye!" she whispered. Then she summoned all her strength and
waved one of her front legs at him.

She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken
apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were
packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte
died. The Fair Grounds were soon deserted. The sheds and buildings
were empty and forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and
trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people that had visited the Fair, knew
that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was
with her when she died.

I had to start laughing at myself so I would stop crying and just read the words to Luke at bedtime tonight. This is my first adult-reading of Charlotte's Web by E. B. White. Even if I weren't pregnant, I'm pretty sure I would've felt the same and had a hard time reading for my tears.

BTW, read this to your child! Luke is five and LOVED this book. We read the whole thing in 4 nights. Next up: Five Little Peppers and How They Grew. (I'm looking forward to revisiting this old favorite of mine!)

What books are your kids' favorites?

Matthew's Soccer Game

Last Monday, we headed downtown to Moody Bible Institute, where my brother Matthew's soccer team was playing. It was our first "fallish" activity; boy was the weather chilly! I really like this weather (could've handle more sunshine though), especially the cute clothes I have for the boys. :)

This was the second game of Matthew's that the boys and I have gotten to watch this season. Even though his team didn't win, he played great; and it was fun to see him. (I miss all my family so much!) I was glad for the chance to come out and cheer him on and send him home with some cookies and his favorite candy. :)

Luke was goofing off, not looking at the camera; and apparently, Simon was digging for gold.

We got there really early so we could talk to Matthew and just "hang out" on the field. This is how an almost-2 and 5 year old "hang out."

I thought Simon was absolutely DARLING :) in his fall duds.

The boys with Uncle Matthew. If you zoom in, you can see that Simon has a pretty mischievous smile on his little face.

Simon's ball-handling skills were actually kind of impressive for a little guy.

A typical sight; Simon actually LIKES falling, and does it on purpose - he kinda just dives or collapses. It's pretty funny to watch; I'm always just hoping it's on a soft surface!

Lots of good ol', healthy grass stains were acquired that day - just what Simon needed. (Seriously, living in a condo, I always wish they could play outside more.)

Matthew's cheering section (minus the loudest member of it). :)

Chicago's a cool place to have a soccer game!

Walking the Line

I find myself walking the line lately - the line between order and chaos, peace and unrest, patience and irritability. I am slowly acquiring habits that create and aid order in my life and our home. God has been kind in helping me pursue new ways to teach his Word to my boys when we are at home and walking in the way. But, too often, so quickly that I don't know who pushed me, I am surrounded by the disorder that is inevitable with boys (all kids, for that matter, but ESPECIALLY these two boys I love) and all that spews out of me is more chaos, contagious unrest and irritation lined with impatience and anger. I mean, really, does he think that I can look at the new "Wipe Out" move that he's created every 10 seconds? Is there an unwritten law in the Book of Boys that allows for a little pee on the floor and forbids leaving the hand towel in the bathroom? And, why does cleaning my house feel like a treadmill?

There must be some refinement taking place in this process, because in the midst of the petty and selfish tantrums I throw in my head (that may occasionally spill out in a few, ahem, words), I know how ridiculous and short-sighted I am being. I see the ugliness of myself, playing the victim who deserves better, or at least 2 square feet without a single train or dinosaur to pick up. I know that I wouldn't trade one Wipe Out move for a peaceful life with no pee on the bathroom floor.

God, forgive me. Teach me these lessons often, so that my sinful self will learn before my babies see and remember (of course they have already seen) my selfishness. Thank you for every moment that I get to admire a Wipe Out move, or a jump off the couch, fish Kix from between the couch cushions or pick up the 100th match-box car.

Freedom Run 2009

On Saturday, September 12, Chris ran in the 2nd annual Freedom Run in Barrington, IL. This race was also held on American military bases in FOB Altimur, Afghanistan, Guantanamo Bay and Eskan Village, Saudi Arabia. There was a local veteran (in his 20s) who was running that day whose brother ran several hours earlier, thousands of miles away - in Saudi Arabia. In honor of the anniversary of 9/11/01, the race started at 9:11AM and was 9.11 miles. (Some also ran 9.11 km, but Chris ran the longer race.)

The We Do Care Mission:

"We Do Care is an Illinois 501 (c) 3 non political and grass roots non profit organization founded in 2004. Our mission is to provide tangible opportunities for the American public to thank and support active duty military personnel, their families, and veterans while appreciating the freedom unique to our country."

We were lined up on the road, waiting for Chris to run by us after the Start. I thought I missed him because all the walkers started coming. Wouldn't you know, as soon as I shut my lens, he came running up! He's saying hi to Simon in the stroller here. (Nice tongue, honey.)

You're gonna have to zoom in for this one. You can see half of his face behind the sweaty guy in the gray shirt.

Zoom in again. Now you can see the other side of his face behind the top-half of that woman's face. (Great photographer, aren't I?)

A boy scout taking the chip off of Chris' shoe. (At this point, I'm feeling bad about the lack of good pics I got at the finish line, so I snap this one.)

Some of the crowd.

Having some water and a banana to cool down.

The army arch everyone ran through as they approached the finish line. (Too bad, I didn't make it in time to take a pic of Chris coming out from under it.)

Luke wearing the American flag pin Chris got in his goody bag at the race.

Trying to get a picture of the boys as we walked to the playground after Chris finished. Simon was like, "See playground. Must run!"

These guys ran 9.11 miles in their full uniforms/gear with even their packs on their backs. Seriously impressive!

They were just coming in as we were walking to our car, almost 2.5 hours after the race started.

School

Here we go - entering the world of school and education for our kids! (I'm still waiting for Chris to get out of this world - as the student, that is.) Shortly after moving here, some friends told Chris and I about a classical Christian school only 2 miles from our home! We have been interested in the classical philosophy of education for several years (even before having Luke) and have had many talks and discussions about this sometimes agonizing and controversial topic of school - Public? Private? Christian? This subject can get personal and controversial, and I have friends who have chosen all of the options I mentioned above - all of whom are godly parents who wants God's will for their child's education and seek to have Christ-centered homes. This leads me to believe that it is unwise to judge other parents' decisions on this matter. At this point in our lives, Chris and I want to provide our children with a classical style, Christian education - either through a CC school or home school. But to say that this way is the best for every child and family would probably be prideful and offensive to others.

So . . . last year we made steps to see if this nearby CC school would be an option for Luke this school year (fall 2009). Chris and I disagreed a little about whether Luke should start pre-K or kindergarten, but we had him tested with the intent to enroll him in Kindergarten. At this particular school, he actually tested right on-board with their pre-K program; the school also was beginning to enforce a June 1 cut-off. So, we were hoping that Luke would start pre-K this fall, 2 mornings a week.

Well . . . we just can't swing two school bills right now. (Chris is in his final year of grad school.) So, by April, we knew that Luke would not be going to pre-K after all. I would have liked for Luke to have the experience of a classroom each week; but in some ways, I was relieved to have one more year of a care-free and flexible schedule, free from all that comes with "school."

We have now started "school" at home. I was a little late in figuring out what to do and ordering books and materials, so we are still waiting on one thing, but last week we started "school." I picked up a cute old school desk at a garage sale last summer ($5!); Luke loves having a place to work! So, I suppose I am technically homeschooling already. So far, we don't have a set schedule; I'm figuring that one out. I am going to keep things pretty flexible - this is not kindergarten. We are hoping that Luke will go to K-5 at a CC school next fall. But, if a CC school isn't an option for us, we'll just continue where we left off from this year. Here's what we're doing:

Phonics/Writing: Phonics Pathways (very affordable, practical and, so far, I really like it!); I had intended to use Abeka phonics, but only ordered the workbook. On receiving it, I realized I needed the teacher's lesson plan book, which was $40. After a helpful conversation with my sister-in-law, I ordered Phonics Pathways ($20), but decided to keep the Abeka workbooks (I had also ordered a Manuscript Writing workbook). The Abeka worksheets are working quite nicely as practice and reinforcement after our lessons from Phonics Pathways. (Incidentally, Abeka REALLY needs to revise their material and use a different teaching "object" than "Indian" for the letter "I.")

Math: Saxon Math K; We haven't started Math other than the Meeting Book because the manipulatives set I ordered hasn't come yet. The beginning lessons look EASY, so I'm thinking we'll cruise through for a while.

Bible: I ordered Big Truths for Little Kids as a special and new Bible book to read and learn from other than the Bible storybook we read at night as a family. This has proven to be great for "school," as it teaches catechisms, many of which Luke already knew from church! (How sweet is that?)

Memorization: Some memorization we'll work on this year include a Scripture passage (We started Psalm 100 over the summer and are almost finished) and a hymn (We just started learning My Hope is Built on Nothing Less). We probably will also start learning a poem.

It sounds like a lot to me when I write it all out, but it's really not, especially when many of these things can be learned (or reinforced) throughout the day, when you're riding in the car, or working in the kitchen or even just playing or picking up. That's the beauty of home school, I guess.

And, having had a childhood filled with playing school alone in my room or with my friends and then getting an education degree in college, I am totally loving this! I am dying to find one of those crisp, red lesson-plan books that my teachers had when I was young. I'm sure it's completely unnecessary for doing pre-school at home with one child, but it would make my day if I could find one!

Whoa!

I can't believe I've been such an absent and lousy blogger!  I started my unannounced blogging hiatus many moons ago, mostly because I don't usually get "computer time" (other than a few minutes during breakfast) until after supper, probably after the boys are in bed.  By then, I'm usually too tired.

So, if there's anybody out there still reading my poor little blog, Hey!

Hm, so where to start? I don't want to make this the mother of all posts (which could easily happen with someone like me), so I think I'll just make a list of things that have gone on around here.

April/May

• Chris plugs away and finishes his second year at Wheaton.
• Chris' parents spend Easter with us.
• I slowly emerge into a hormonal, VERY exhausted nightmare.  Cause = Baby #3, due December 15.
• We spend a weekend in Louisville with April and Scott.
• I get a Snuggie from the boys for Mother's Day.  Yep, now you actually know someone who owns one.
• Friends spend Memorial weekend with us.
• Luke & Simon progress in their knowledge and range of shenanigans and general boyhood mischief.

Easter 2009

Mother's Day 2009

June

• Chris and I celebrate our 8th anniversary by going to Terminator: Salvation.  Somehow, that's not what I pictured 8 years ago. :)
• We all spend a GREAT week in Michigan with Chris' family.  Highlights - what Ohio likes to call a safari and a Tiger's game
• Luke enjoys VBS at church.  This summer he didn't expect to start packing up to move afterwards. (The poor guy seemed to think that was a tradition until last summer.)
• Luke begins to enlighten Simon in the finer points of boyish mayhem.

Luke, Papa, Simon & Chris

Luke, Chris, and Papa walking to the game (love the jersey!)

July

• Luke turns FIVE and has his first-ever birthday party with friends.
• We enjoy our village's 4th of July parade.
• Luke gets his first "buzz cut."
• The boys and I drive Chris to O'Hare where he flies off to England.  He attends a conference at the Tyndale House and spends 10 more days studying there.  We drive to MI and spend time with family.
• We enjoy the last two weeks of this month just being home and together!
• Luke & Simon have fun with the library's summer reading program and get some cool (and some lame) prizes.
• With Luke's expert help, Simon perfects jumping off of ANYTHING, and my blood pressure raises a wee bit.

Luke got 6 Transformers for his birthday.  He loves to watch the old cartoons on joost.com - the shows Chris used to love to watch.

Simon & Luke at the parade

Chris outside the Tyndale House (duh)

August

• The nice ultrasound technician tells us we are having another charming BOY.  Oh man.
• We spend some time with old friends in Wisconsin enroute to Dunbar.
• We spend 10 days in Northern Wisconsin with my parents.  Highlights: Bay Beach, 4-wheeler rides, and all the jobs and joys that are a part of country-living! (Luke LOVED every job he did with Nonie - hanging clothes on the line, picking vegetables, brushing the dogs, washing vegetables,etc.)
• Luke & Simon perfect the game  of "Wipe Out" with the couch cushions on our living room floor.
• To Luke's disadvantage (and my chagrin), Simon is now fully capable of hitting right back.

family picture on one of my dad's awesome hayrides (You gotta watch out or you'll lose an eye on these rides!)

Pappy & Luke at Phillips Lake

April taking Simon on a ride.  He could ride on this all day.