Live and Learn

Why do I always have to learn life's lessons the hard way? Take Christmas Tree lessons, for instance. These are the lessons we've had to learn the hard way in Christmases past.

1. Be sure that the tree has a straight trunk, or it will keep falling over until you tie it to the wall. (2002)
2. It would probably be best to start off your marriage with a proper stand that is sure to be sturdy and big enough, not a rinky-dink little thing your grandma let you have. (2002)
3. Having a proper wood saw is a necessity when getting a real tree. (Hack saws don't cut it, and they get you real funny looks at Home Depot when you go to replace the blade.)(2002)
4. DO NOT buy your Christmas tree more than 1/2 hour's drive from your home. And if you do, be sure you know how to properly secure it to your vehicle's roof (and have the proper securing materials). If you ignore this advice, you will drive in fear of the tree flying off into the middle of the freeway and eventually pull over and shove the tree into your truck. At least by then, you will have had purchased the bungie cords to keep the trunk down. (2003)
5. Make sure the tree is somewhat alive when you buy it and needles don't fall off when you pull on the branches. (You will not find this type of tree at Home Depot.) (2004)

These are some new lessons that I learned yesterday:

6. When you set out to get your tree, be sure there is sufficient light left in the day to properly see the tree that you will be buying. Otherwise, you might find some holes and/or gaps when you get the tree in your house.
7. Though trees of the Pine variety usually cost less and actually look quite pretty once decorated, it might be advisable to shell out the extra 10 bucks and get a fir or balsam. Pine needles are long. Too long for some vacuums to suck up without getting clogged.
8. When you're dealing with a rather low ceiling, do not buy a tall tree with the intention of cutting off some of the bottom of the tree. Those bottom branches are much more important than you would first assume. In fact, they are crucial to the entire shape of the tree. You might just end up with a short and odd looking tree that cost 35 big ones. By this time, the trees at Home Depot don't look too shabby.
9. After a difficult evening spent wrestling with Christmas Tree hastles, your toddler is sure to wake up at 6am the next morning after only 9 hours of sleep. And it's Saturday.

Did you happen to notice that 2001 and 2005 were stellar years for us, Christmas Tree-wise? Guess why? 2001 was the first year we were married, and we lived down the street from my parents. My parents came with us to get our tree, and my dad hauled it home on his trailer. He then cut the bottom off with his chain saw and put the tree in the stand for us. Last year (2005), Chris' parents came to our house for Thanksgiving and went with us to get our tree. His dad hauled the tree home in his truck and cut the bottom off with his chain saw. 'Nuff said.

O well, at least we got a cute picture out of it, though the whole experience nearly took the Christmas spirit right out of me. I have to go now - to take apart my vacuum for the second time. Hopefully this time I'll get to the problem. After that, I'm going to go price some chain saws. Unfortunately, we can't afford a truck or trailer at the moment.